The three YOU's
Me in 2015-ish, me in 2020, and future me.
A couple of years ago, I discovered this Reddit post and comment.
It’s long since been archived, but the message is something I come back to often.
It’ll probably stick with me my whole life, to be honest. I’m OK with that, it’s great advice.
Read it. Read it twice, three times, read it every day. Sometimes I do. It’s a great way to think about being grateful for YOU, and not just part of you, but all that you are.
As someone who consistently thrashed my body (see photo on the left), I thought that I was just too far down that process to ever be healthy or happy again. What was the point? I’d already made so many mistakes.
You always read those things that are like, “If you do X you will ruin your body for life! You’ll be an elevated risk for cancer, your brain will be damaged, etc. etc. et effin’ c …”
Yeah, that’ll make you want to give up on yourself, right? One mistake and you’re doomed.
Well, while you may be all those things, that doesn’t mean it’s “too late” to make changes and get on a better path. It’s never too late. So don’t give into that kind of thinking.
I’ve never seen it summed up better than with these four points here. So let’s talk about them and how you can integrate them into your life.
No Zero Days. No, you do not have to run a marathon every day. You don’t have to do anything magical. But don’t do nothing, either. Maybe you ate a salad for lunch. Bam. That’s one small way to move yourself toward the path you want to be on. Drink more water. Try to get a little sweat session in every day. Or even just read a couple paragraphs about something you’re interested in that will help you along on your journey.
No Zero Days is one of my favorite concepts. It’s all about the little changes everyday that add up to bigger things. Biting off more than you can chew can make it hard to stay focused. Nobody said you have to race to get to where you want to be. Make meaningful changes that add up over time, take time to grow, and you will be more likely to succeed.
Be Grateful to the Three YOU’s. I never thought about myself in this way. The past you is all you have done up to the present time. The present time is you in the current moment, today, right now. What are you doing right now? Well, for me, I’m typing this blog. And the past you and present you combine for future you. What do you want future you to be? What do you want future you to feel like, to look like?
This kind of ties back into that thinking that you’ve made so many mistakes that you don’t know where to start to make your life better. But how about the things you did right? I have made a lot of decisions in my life that I am incredibly NOT proud of. But I’ve also set myself up for so many good things, too! You have to forgive yourself for the mistakes and the things you didn’t do, and be grateful for the positive decisions that past you made.
We can’t change the past. I get it. And our past may be littered with plenty of hurt, pain and guilt. But we can’t change the past. So it’s up to present you to change TODAY so that future you avoids those same mistakes. Stop smoking, and future you will have a lower risk of cancer and disease. Stop binge watching TV all weekend and get out for a little exercise so future you will be a little healthier. What will you do today to change the future for the better, not for the worse?
Forgive Yourself. For some of us, this is one of the hardest things to do. But it’s probably the most important. So you made some mistakes in the past. Maybe they were BIG mistakes, and you don’t know how you’re ever going to move on from it. Or maybe they were a lot of small mistakes, and you feel overwhelmed by feelings from them.
It’s OK. It’s really OK. Your past, while it is a part of you, does not define future you. Present you defines future you. All of us have done things in the past that keep us up at night. All of us. This idea always makes me think of Steve-O, whose drug-fueled antics were shared with the world for years and years. But look at him now. Holy shit. I don’t know about you, but that’s inspiring to me. Sure, we all have those memories of his past, but he is moving forward with his life and is proud to be who he is in the present moment. Take what you can from all your experiences and use it to make yourself a better person.
Exercise and Read Books. Well, this one is kind of self-explanatory, but important nonetheless. Exercise improves your body in so many ways, and reading improves your life in so many ways, too. Read what you like, I don’t think it matters. Sometimes those self-help books can be overwhelming. But strive to learn a little bit through reading, too. Aim to exercise a little bit every day — take the stairs, walk the dog, ride your bike, do yoga … it doesn’t have to be excessive. There are so, so many benefits just from walking! Or take Matthew McConaughey’s advice and aim to break a sweat every day. Exercise boosts your mind, spirit and body, and it will help you feel good so that you never have Zero Days.
Most importantly, you have to be patient with yourself through the process. Maybe you can’t forgive yourself today, and that’s OK. Work toward it. Remember to think about future you as you are going through the process!
If current you could give past you advice, what would you say?
And what do you imagine future you would say to the current you?
I’d love to see your thoughts in the comments!