Time to rest

Why do you do it if it scares you so much?

It was truly 8 hours and 47 minutes of riding outside of my comfort zone at Little Sugar in Bentonville. Even as I lined up next to Andy on that wet morning, I felt an overwhelming sense of not knowing at all what I was about to get into.

There weren’t as many scary hours at Big Sugar, but there were frightening moments momentarily losing control in loose sections. It’s never a good thing to see people crash right in front of you, and that happened twice.

So I guess that’s a legit question. Why do we do these things when they’re scary, hard, and sometimes downright terrifying?

I don’t know how to answer that. Maybe the better question is: Why do we do anything at all?

Isn’t life itself pretty terrifying once you sit back and think about it? Why even get up and out of bed in the morning?

There was a moment in my childhood when I really enjoyed walking across town. I was young. Our town was small and pretty safe. I knew the way home from almost anywhere. It was a few miles. I wanted to enjoy the journey. So I did. I did it a lot, much to the horror of not just my parents but a few of my friends’ parents as well.

I don’t know what compelled me to do it. I just felt like walking home, and so I did.

I think I get that same feeling about riding my bike. I never have to ride these crazy centuries. I just want to. I don’t know if I can even explain why now any better than I could back then. I do find it a little more enjoyable to be on a bike than on my feet nowadays, but I do still occasionally go for long walks just for the fun of it.

What compels you to go? Maybe it’s something indescribable. It’s in our blood, or whatever. I imagine the earliest adventurers setting sail across a sea they thought might drop them off the edge of the earth. What made them go do the thing?

We may never know the answer to that, either, but I’ll tell you what — the world would be a whole lot different if people didn’t do the things that scared them.

So embrace the fear. Embrace the suck. Embrace the challenge. Embrace the change.

The world is better for it.

***

I eked out 12 whole minutes of speed over last year’s Austin Rattler. I enjoyed the course this year, even if I felt like I barely had anything to give.

I was tired. My hip was struggling. Nah, my whole body was struggling. The Rattler’s a tough one — quite rowdy terrain. Rocky and bumpy, though not necessarily difficult and technical, but kinda.

If you lose focus, you’ll skid out, slide out, make a wrong turn, maybe fall … All of those things definitely happened to me on race day.

But I’m so proud, overall, of everything that I accomplished last week, and this whole entire year.

Hell, those were even the first words out of my mouth after the finish line! Thank you, I’m so proud of my finish!

I almost can’t believe all the work I put in this year.

• I did two of my longest rides to date (110 miles at Sweetater, 156 miles at Gravel Locos)!

• I climbed an actual fucking mountain on my bike at Leadville, and definitely reached peak elevation for my entire existence!

• I rode my bike for 22 hours in the span of a week in Bentonville for Big Sugar and Little Sugar!

• I trained consistently 6x a week for many months, and with intent and purpose. I mean it, I really nailed my plan.

• I worked 3 days of strength, core and weight lifting into my routine on most weeks — exceptions were made for race weeks when I needed to have fresh muscles.

• I made sleep, rest, recovery and relaxation a priority when possible.

• I learned when to say no — mostly to SBT GRVL even though it broke my heart at the time, but a few other races as well.

• I transitioned to clip-in pedals on my mountain bikes! It’s still scary, don’t get me wrong, but we’re working through it.

• I really enjoyed this season, and trusted the process, and leveled up!

  I almost can’t believe all the work I put in this year.

Well, now that it’s all said and done, and I’m trying to plan for next year, I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to share my wins. I’m not going to share my not-wins. I’m just going to enjoy the good feels I’ve earned for now.

We’ll see what’s in store for next year in a little bit … I’ve got a couple more days to rest before I get back in the swing of things. Strength and power are definitely on the menu! A little bit of weight loss, for sure. Skills practice. Long miles. Fun and adventure.

I’m really looking forward to another year with my amazing coach.

Thank you for setting me up for success, Paige!