An introvert in an extroverted world

Everyone made the joke that social distancing was nothing new for introverts.

It’s definitely true. That doesn’t mean we don’t like people or that we don’t like to talk to people, but just that things drain us quickly. Big parties are not a lot of fun. Lots of talking and listening and excitement is overwhelming.

Heck, even teaching classes at the gym for me is hard. That doesn’t mean I don’t love it — because I totally do. But it does push me out of my comfort zone. My quiet, controlled little universe. That’s the magic of it.

This world does not favor introverts. Our quietness makes us seem timid, shy, boring. We don’t get our name out there as much, quite frankly because most of us don’t want to in the first place. We don’t want to be left alone, necessarily, but we don’t always want to be bothered. Most of us certainly don’t revel in fame or praise, but we deep down inside really do enjoy a good compliment or thank-you. We aren’t very pushy, so people think we are easy or pushovers.

I think a lot of people who have risen to fame as introverts did so through actions, not words. The loud extroverts are the one people are always talking about, always making a fuss over.

She said WHAT?!

He really did that? That’s insane.

First of all, this doesn’t necessarily apply to movie stars and celebrities. They have paparazzi following them constantly and for some reason everyone is interested in their lives.

But take a moment to think about people who have made their way into your lives. Who can you think of off the top of your head?

Dennis Rodman comes my mind first, probably because I just finished The Last Dance. He was an attention seeker who loved to be in the spotlight.

Cardi B? Do I even have to go there? (Sorry, she just popped into my head.) Barack Obama. Steve Jobs. Robert Downey Jr. Freddie Mercury.

Rodman was an amazing basketball player and no doubt earned that fame, but we all know basketball wasn’t the only thing we remember him for. A lot of these people are famous for their talents, but they have a little extra something that stuck out too.

No doubt, that extroversion led them to roles in which they would be recognized by more people. Now compare that with introverts who are famous by no outward seeking of fame and fortune.

People like Michael Jackson. Michael Jordan. Keanu Reeves. Buddah (if I had to guess). Elon Musk. These people aren’t constantly seeking the spotlight. They were doing their thing, and we know about them because they did their thing very well.

It’s the extroverts who are always stealing the attention, but it’s the introverts who are always trying to earn it — and then quietly enjoying it for a moment before it becomes overwhelming and tiring. That is not to say that extroverts never earn it. They do, very much so. Even those who don’t earn it are impressive with their ability to somehow draw attention to themselves (for good or cringe-y reasons).

But then again, the world is also pretty fixated on the cheap thrills of the extrovert. Look at the deep emotions Trump kicks up every time he tweets. We have to keep watching this shit show, don’t we?

I’d love for society to shift toward less talk, more action. Let’s put more focus on the people in our world doing things instead of just blowing smoke and putting on wild, crazy personas for the camera.

What if they don’t want the recognition?

I don’t think a minute or two of fame would be so bad. Then it’s back to work. Focus on the work. Focus on the legacy. That is the spotlight introverts want to be in.

Bringing it back full circle, sometimes it does feel like I’m just not doing it right, that I’m not doing enough to make a lasting impact like I want to. I want to help people live their best lives, to be healthy and not fall into the traps that try to lure us in constantly. To work hard and to reap the rewards of achieving their goals.

Sometimes it feels like if you aren’t David Goggins and running a marathon every day than you just don’t have credibility enough to coach someone. We get so fixated on the extraordinary that ordinary means nothing.

The truth is, though, is that some people would give a lot just to be ordinary.

And I know that because that was once me. Some of us think being to work at 7:55 a.m. for our 8 a.m. shift is nothing magical, but there are people out there who cannot be on time consistently and it eats them up inside.

What can you do, oh ordinary person, to help lift someone up?

You can do a lot.

The spotlight ain’t gonna be there forever, and when it’s not, you’ll probably be in the company of some hard-working, good-intentioned introverts who love you all the same. And that, I think, deserves a little bit more attention in this world.